Prior to getting a professional interventionist involved, most families have tried to confront their loved ones about their destructive behaviors. Many times this was ineffective because you tried to go it alone and separately, where your concerns could be easily defended against by mechanisms that the substance abusing person engages in to keep everyone away from the heart of the problem. The concerns were not presented with the support of other family members and/or friends and there was not a concerted effort to plan for contingencies, if the loved one chose not to engage in the recovery process. You probably have fears that an intervention will fail and begin to think that you may never get your loved one away from the negative lifestyle that they continue to be involved with. This usually leaves you feeling more alone and isolated and imagining that there may be no hope to potentially save your loved one’s life.
Oftentimes the person engaging in the negative behaviors is believing that they are not affecting anyone around them. A “true” professional intervention differs from that of individual “conversations.” It is carefully planned and orchestrated. No one wants to know that their behavior is hurting the people around them and the intervention is an; “eye-opening” experience that leaves little room for denial. It can be a very powerful process because of the level of emotion that is displayed by the caring partners that are helping to; “open the person’s eyes as to how their behavior has affected those around them.”
The ultimate goal is to engage the person in a partnership to get them on the road to true recovery. You want the loved one to “go to treatment, start engaging in recovery, so that you can welcome back the person that you love and care about”
Family intervention uses the power of love and concern to break through denial and get your loved one into treatment. By organizing family members and friends in a very specific way, as laid out in Love First, we are able to get results that were impossible in the past.
The keys to a successful intervention are planning, preparation and technique. Many people think they’ve tried everything, but often family members have been working against each other. They‘ve never taken an organized approach or worked with a professional interventionist
Intervention unifies the family and gets everyone working together. Before the intervention ever takes place, the team goes through a planning a rehearsal process that leaves nothing to chance. Take a look at this intervention checklist.
Here’s an excerpt from Love First, by Jeff Jay and Debra Jay:
In the past, expressions of love were delegated to a few brief sentences during an intervention. We’ve learned that when we expand the role of love in intervention, it is love that first breaks through denial, not toughness. Using love first, we often never have to use tough love.
Jeff Jay is a professional interventionist, educator and author. He is a graduate of the University of Minnesota, and a certified addictions professional. His work has appeared on CNN, the Jane Pauley Show, PBS, Forbes Online and in professional journals. He has served as president of the Terry McGovern Foundation in Washington, DC, and on the boards of directors for several professional organizations.
Jeff Jay is the co-author of Love First: A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction, and co-author of At Wit’s End: What You Need to Know When a Loved One Is Diagnosed with Addiction and Mental Illness, a book on dual disorders published in April 2007 by Hazelden. He heads a national private practice that provides intervention and recovery mentoring services. He is a former clinician with the Hazelden Foundation and Sacred Heart Rehabilitation Center.
Debra Jay has worked as an interventionist since 1996 and is currently in private practice, providing intervention training and consultation services, with an additional specialty in older adult intervention. She previously worked for the Hazelden Foundation as an inpatient addiction therapist with both men and women in primary and extended care. She also facilitated the Hazelden family program and coordinated the older adult program.
Debra Jay is the author of No More Letting Go: The Spirituality of Taking Action Against Alcoholism and Drug Addiction, published by Bantam in 2006. She has also co-authored two Hazelden Guidebooks: Love First: A New Approach to Intervention and Aging and Addiction: Helping Older Adults Overcome Alcohol or Medication Dependence.
Debra Jay is a nationally known speaker and has regularly appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Most recently, she was seen on The Dr. Oz Show. She is a graduate of Ohio State University.
Jeff and Debra live in Grosse Pointe Farms, Michigan and travel nationally. They write a monthly column on alcohol, drugs, and family for the Grosse Pointe News.
Harbor Hall is very committed to the process of recovery and helping people to change their lives. Sometimes there is a necessity to get an intervention specialist involved to engage your loved one in the recovery process. We support; “Love First’s” model of clinical interventions and believe that they are true professionals who can help you and your loved one on the path to recovery. Check them out here: Love First